A Journey of Heroic Villainy
by AllHailMario
Summary: Your favorite clumsy duo, LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch, are on a mission to impress the imprisoned King Boo by taking over the world for him. However, the crux of their success lies in Princess Peach's crown. The kicker: she's already been kidnapped.
1. Chapter 1: The Escape

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I always seem to put these notes at the beginning of my stories, don't I? At any rate, I abstained from creating this story because I was currently working on four stories at once. But I noticed that my most recent story, Age of Bowser, was doing very poorly. Thus, I deleted it, and I'm replacing that fourth slot with this. Believe me, this story should be a lot more interesting. (It would appear that I do humor better than a serious story.)

Think of this as a sequel to Luigi's Mansion As Told By King Boo. It happens not longer after, as you will see....

--

The Boos. You are familiar with these creatures. They are ghosts. When you think of ghosts, what else do you think of? You think of frightening monsters, sneaking in the dark, stealing the souls of innocent people. Nightmarish creatures of terrible power. You fear them.

Believe me, there is nothing to fear with these two ghosts.

"Hey, LimBooger, wanna hear a joke?"

"No, I don't."

"A witch walks into a bar...."

"I said no, Boo B. Hatch!"

"--And then she says, 'Bartender, why is there a stick on the floor?' And then the bartender says--"

"SHUT UP, BOO B. HATCH!!!"

These two Boos are LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch. Meet LimBooger. The unofficial head of the talent-less duo, LimBooger thinks before he acts. And as such, he is the wrong partner for Boo B. Hatch, who is insane. Boo B. Hatch cannot sit still. You may think, "Why does LimBooger hang out with Boo B. Hatch?" Because somebody has to look after him, and that somebody is LimBooger. It is not fun.

These two Boos were one of fifty underlings of the infamous King Boo. The ghoulish baddie has been sucked up by none other than Luigi, however, and is stuck in a picture in an eccentric professor's gallery. Luigi is, of course, Mario's little brother. LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch were part of a trick to lure Mario and Luigi to their dooms in a haunted mansion. They were sucked up along with King Boo.

So, before the humorless joke, there was an escape. Let us review that escape.

LimBooger was inside an Anti-Ghost Solid Object Transversion Safety Containment Jar in Prof. Gadd's laboratory. Since the professor's senseless title makes it hard to understand its properties accurately, the jars have been developed so that ghosts can't pass through them. At this point, LimBooger was very cramped in the jar and wishing that he got the cozy portrait the Portrait Ghosts had. Boo B. Hatch was in a similar jar on the shelf opposite.

"COULD THIS BE ANY MORE BORING!?!" LimBooger shouted. "Seriously, where is that professor!?! Give me a magazine! _Any_ magazine! Okay, not any magazine, but give me something to do, honestly!"

"We could play the Place Game again," Boo B. Hatch suggested eagerly.

A series of moans and groans came from all the other jars around the room.

"Oh, please."

"Not again."

"I'd rather remain Boored."

"Actually, it sounds pretty fun."

"Shut up, Boolicious."

"Okay," Boo B. Hatch went on, regardless. "When I say the name of a place, you have to come up with the name of a place that starts with the letter my place ended with! Ready? Shiver City!"

Silence. Either nobody was participating, or they couldn't think of a place that started with Y.

"Oh, come on!" Boo B. Hatch complained. "It can't be that hard! Yoshi's Island!"

"Nobody wants to play, Boo B. Hatch!" LimBooger shouted. He sighed. "We should think of a way to get out of here. Anybody got any ideas?"

"We could grow laser vision and burn a hole through the jars."

"No, we couldn't, TamBoorine. ...Wait! I've got it! I'll just knock the jar off the shelf with my weight, and it'll shatter!"

LimBooger shifted his weight back, then leaned forward. The jar rocked slightly. He tried again. Now the jar was wobbling furiously. With a final push, the jar fell off the shelf and landed with a unique sound on the floor:

THUNK.

"Did it work, LimBooger?"

"No, but I think I just got a concussion."

"Great! I'm coming down, too!" Boo B. Hatch yelled.

"It didn't work, Boobers! Don't come down!"

Despite LimBooger's desperate use of Boo B. Hatch's nickname, the crazy Boo knocked his jar off and landed with another CLUNK on the ground. Silence filled the room.

"Now what, LimBooger?" someone behind and above LimBooger asked.

"I haven't the foggiest idea. ...Wait! What about one of the professor's machines!?! I'm sure they can smash the jars!"

"Yes, but there's one problem with that, Limby," another Boo said. "There _are_ no stinkin' machines in here!"

"But there are out _there_," LimBooger said. At this point, Luigi still had not faced off against King Boo or sucked up all the Boos. "We wait for E. Gadd to come in here with another Boo--because, believe me, I don't think King Boo stands a chance, but don't tell him I said that--and then we'll roll right out. We'll have to move quickly and find something to bash us free."

Such a thing happened sooner than any of them expected it too. The steel door on the opposite end of the narrow, stone room opened, and in walked the tiny professor.

"Ah! My jars have fallen!" he exclaimed in his high-pitched voice.

"So much for that idea," LimBooger murmured.

"Wait! These are just the Boos I wanted to see!" E. Gadd said. "LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch, I believe. Yes. Now it is time to study if some Boos really are smellier than others and what goes on through a crazy Boo's brain!"

"It's just a superstition!!!" LimBooger shouted through the thick glass. "My name has nothing to do with my hygiene!"

"Yeah, it does!" Boo B. Hatch yelled.

"Nobody asked you!"

The arguing continued as the professor picked the two jars up and carried them out of the room. He set them on a desk next to a thick machine. The machine was cold, polished, shiny steel and completely square. About forty-six different buttons were on the side.

"Uh, what's that?" LimBooger asked sheepishly.

"It's my Multiple Ghost Brain-Scanning Highly-Intelligent Artificial Comparison Machine! It can pick out any difference between ghosts, right down to their fingerprints!"

"We don't _have_ fingerprints," LimBooger stated.

"Hmm...I may need to rethink my planning a bit more. But this is an incredible scientific discovery! Ghosts do not have fingerprints! Or, is it just Boos that don't have fingerprints? Too confusing! I must--"

During the middle of the professor's scientific rant, something buzzed in his pocket. He pulled out the Game Boy Horror, a handheld device that allowed communication between Luigi and E. Gadd, and started talking. He turned his back to the two ghosts.

"Okay, here's our chance," LimBooger whispered. "He's not looking. We'll roll over to the Ghost Portrificationizer, activate it, and have it crush our jars! After that, we'll escape! Got it?"

"...Huh?"

"Gah! You--" LimBooger glanced nervously at the professor, who was jabbering some piece of advice he'd already told to Luigi nine times--he had counted--and still not looking. LimBooger quickly repeated the message. This time, Boo B. Hatch understood. He rolled his jar off the desk, pausing to see if the sound made the professor turn and look. It didn't. Another clunk told him that Boo B. Hatch had come down as well. He rolled over to the huge rig, the Ghost Portrificationizer, and realized that the machine was up off the ground. A hitch in the plans.

"We need to get up there somehow," LimBooger said. "And we need to do it quickly. What can get us up there?"

"A cannon."

"Be realistic! There isn't a cannon here!"

"Yeah, there is, Mr. Blind Guy."

LimBooger looked around angrily. To his surprise, there was a miniature, high-tech cannon behind him. He rolled over to it quickly, then pushed himself into the hole.

"I'm going to guess there's a button on this thing. Press it!"

"This button?"

The cannon raised upwards.

"No, not that one! Maybe there's another one!"

The cannon lowered.

"Dang! Check for more buttons!"

"Wait! Wait! The professor's belly button! I've got it!"

"No! He's gotta be done talking by now! Look for another button!"

"And remember, Luigi," E. Gadd said, "the plants in the mansion like to be watered, so take some time to do that, okay, sonny?"

"Yes, professor," came the bored reply from the Game Boy Horror. "Can I go live a life now?"

"Yes! Now go find more Boos!"

"Aw, man! How do you make this stupid thing FIRE!?!" Boo B. Hatch shouted, exasperated.

At the mention of the word "fire," the cannon went off. In less than a hundredth of a second, LimBooger wound up on the opposite wall. The glass shattered so hard, the shards crumbled into pieces the moment they hit the other walls.

"First a concussion, and now this," LimBooger complained.

"Ah! My Boos!" came a high-pitched shriek.

"Uh-oh. BOO B. HATCH! I'M COMING, BOY!"

Before the professor could reach the jar, LimBooger swooped down, snatched the jar, and went through the other wall. When he looked in his hands, he realized that glass does not, in fact, go through walls. Panicked, he flew back in and saw E. Gadd holding Boo B. Hatch's jar.

"Look, there goes Elvis!" LimBooger shouted, pointing behind Prof. Gadd. The tiny man turned and looked instinctively. LimBooger snatched Boo B. Hatch again and went out the door this time.

"Stop! The ghosts!"

He was too late. LimBooger was far, far away, looking for some sturdy object to bash the jar open. About twenty minutes later, when he was sure he was safe, LimBooger set the jar down.

"I'm going to get you out, Boobers," he muttered. "Now, time to find a rock. One a lot bigger than your brain."

"Like that big rock over there?"

"But not bigger than your observance, it seems. That rock will do."

LimBooger hovered over to a large rock. He picked it up--it was heavier than it looked--and hovered high into the air over the jar.

"Ready?"

"Ready! Bring it on! I can--"

That was all Boo B. Hatch got out before a huge rock squashed him.

Half an hour later, when Boo B. Hatch regained consciousness, they decided to talk about what to do. Which is about when the stupid joke came up. And the topic of their conversation was....

What now?


	2. Chapter 2: The Plan

"What now?" asked Boo B. Hatch.

LimBooger paced--or, rather, hovered--around, thinking hard. They had just escaped from the gallery. Now what?

"Boobers! What area was Luigi in before we left?"

"He was in the forest-y area."

"No! The mansion's area! What area?"

LimBooger grew angrier still as a confused expression crossed his friend's face. "Did you listen to ANYTHING King Boo told you?"

"I remember there was something about stopping a guy named Luigi."

Resisting the urge to throttle Boo B. Hatch, LimBooger quickly explained the mansion's area system. "Wasn't he in area four when we left? He just defeated Boolossus."

"Who's Boolossus? --Kidding! Just kidding! He's the big dude made of fifteen Boos. So I guess he was, 'cause whatever you say must be correct."

LimBooger thought. _Yes, I clearly remember King Boo flying into a frenzy over Boolossus. Which means King Boo himself is next. I have this feeling he's going to lose to Luigi, no matter how confident he feels. He would feel crushed then. I'd hate to see him so upset...I wish there was something we could do, but...._ A small thought crossed LimBooger's mind. _Freeing him would make him happy, of course. But what about...?_

He decided not to think about that plan then. He would mention it later, if King Boo, indeed, lost.

"For now, let's find a cozy place to rest. I have to think some more."

Boo B. Hatch donned a dopey expression and started singing, "And then I'd sit...and think some more!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. The scarecrow was never as annoying as you."

--

After only about twenty minutes of searching, they found what appeared to be an abandoned treehouse with abandoned furniture and even popcorn crumbs still on the floor (which Boo B. Hatch proceeded to lick up eagerly--LimBooger shook his head, disapproving). There was even a small television set.

"Why would they abandon such an awesome place?" LimBooger wondered.

"Who cares? More popcorn for us!"

LimBooger grabbed Boo B. Hatch's tail with one hand without even looking. "Enough year-old popcorn, Boobers. That's gross."

"We're ghosts. Gross is what we're about."

"At any rate, I'm guessing they saw an owl or something and thought it was a ghost. Of course, there _are_ ghosts around here," he added, smirking, "but they probably never returned. Let's settle in here for the night. If King Boo defeated Luigi, let's return to him tomorrow. If not...I have the beginning of a plan. Now pop in one of those dusty, abandoned movies. It's getting boring around here."

"It's never boring with me around!"

"The party never stops, but I wasn't invited," LimBooger muttered. "Whatever. Throw in a movie."

--

Do you like to watch scary movies? Some people do. They laugh every time something scares them on the TV screen. The two Boos, LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch, were the same way. They went through the small stack of movies, searching for the scariest. Finally, they hit dynamite; Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

"Awesome!" Boo B. Hatch exclaimed. "I'm gonna have nightmares for a month from this thing!"

Grinning, LimBooger put the movie into the old VCR and turned it on. They settled down onto an old, torn, beat-up couch, awaiting the horror.

Finally, it began. Snow White appeared onto the screen. She sang and began feeding the birds.

"No! She's--she's singing!!" Boo B. Hatch exclaimed.

"Don't look, Boo B. Hatch! She's picking flowers!" LimBooger shouted.

The movie was scarier than they thought. At every twist, every turn, there was happiness, flowers, and sunshine. It was terror at its scariest.

"Is she done?" Boo B. Hatch asked timidly, eyes covered by his hands.

"Yeah, I think so...wait, she's feeding the bunnies! Aaaaah!!"

By the end of the movie, they were quaking head to toe (although they had no toes). Boo B. Hatch had shoved himself under LimBooger to protect himself from fictional characters in a TV screen, LimBooger covering his eyes for him. They had been relieved by the scariness every so often; sometimes, there would be a deluded old hag trying to kill Snow White or a thunderstorm. But the rest of it...pure horror.

"That was the scariest movie I've ever seen in my life," LimBooger said shakily.

--

The next morning came too slowly. Boo B. Hatch had not slept a wink, and even LimBooger perked his head up at any small noise. He was deathly afraid of looking out the window and seeing...and seeing..._flowers_...and bunnies _eating_ the flowers...it was too scary to think about.

So naturally, they were glad to see the sun rise and have that scary night behind them. LimBooger prepared to go back to the mansion to check up on things. He listened to the list of Boo B. Hatch's nightmares, which extended into triple digit numbers, and even shared a few of his own. They arrived at the mansion in no time, it seemed. LimBooger took in a deep breath and flew through the front door and into the foyer.

"Hello?" he called nervously. "Anybody here?"

The lights were turned on in the foyer--that wasn't unusual, because Luigi had been here first. Nervous, he flew up through the ceiling and into the third floor. The lights were on even here. There were no ghosts or Boos to be found.

"Vincent van Gore?" LimBooger asked timidly as he entered his room. All his paintings were gone. Van Gore himself was nowhere to be found. He always stayed locked up in his room, painting picture after picture and ghost after ghost. The only possible explanation was that Luigi had gotten him.

"King Boo!" LimBooger explained. He went through several floors and down underground to the hidden altar. Mario's picture was gone. King Boo wasn't there, either.

"Yup, he's been defeated," LimBooger said flatly. "To be perfectly honest, I didn't think he'd win. Boolossus was supposed to be indestructible, and look what happened to him." He turned to Boo B. Hatch. "I'm developing an idea here, Boobers. King Boo has been captured. We could free him now, but I'm getting a better idea."

"Free him later?"

"...Kinda. You see, King Boo gets so mad when his plans go to the toilet. All that plotting and planning. Well, what if he didn't _have_ to do any plotting and planning?"

"Are you saying we could stay home, tell jokes, play board games, and chug root beer instead!?!" Boo B. Hatch asked eagerly.

"No! We're going to take over the world for him!!"

"Awesome! I like it! How are we going to do it?"

"...And that's where I'm stuck. I'm working on it, but think about it, Boobers! If we took over the world for him, he could step out of his picture and live a life of luxury without any effort at all! Do you know how much praise we'd get? How high in rank we'd be boosted?"

"No, but I get a feeling it's good!"

"It's _very_ good," LimBooger stated. "Now...we just need to figure out how to do it."

--

They spent a good hour thinking up of plans that started off good but wound up being ridiculous. LimBooger had even gotten to the point of attempting to send out signals to aliens to ask for their help. Even if aliens did come, they'd probably just zap the two ghosts, then conquer the world.

"What about ancient artifacts?" Boo B. Hatch said. "You know, like in the Indiana Bones movies, where he has to walk through all the flower mazes and go through pits of puppies to get some weird item? I'm sure there are, like, a half-dozen of those around here somewhere."

LimBooger grimaced. "You could be right, but I don't know," he said. "These things are always kept hidden, and if they are, how are we supposed to find them? But still, let's research that. I've heard of all sorts of things scattered across the world that those pesky Mario Brothers have found. I'm sure we can do the same."

--

Toad Town wasn't actually that far away. They decided to head to the large, busy town to check for information. Libraries. Some scholar whose vision was going and couldn't see a Boo staring him in the face. However they were going to do it, they were going to do it.

They decided to wander around town secretly, going partially-invisible like all Boos could. They were having no luck at all. There were gardens (which reminded Boo B. Hatch painfully of his nightmares), "Toad Houses," and all sorts of strange places. The people there didn't seem to be well-informed in the departments of, say, evil weapons to conquer the world, so LimBooger wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for in the first place. But eventually, they struck gold.

"Of _course_ there was a dragon attack in Gusty Gulch," an old Toad with a monocle was saying to another. "There was a great battle there. You can find remnants of it here and there, like dragon bones and claw marks. It's quite fascinating. Well, have a good day."

The Toad walked back into his small home and shut the door. LimBooger looked at Boo B. Hatch, smirking. "Now _he's_ a guy we have to talk to."

--

Russ T. began sorting through all his books again. The place was such a mess, but he couldn't seem to find enough to read. He was pleased he got to help the youngster outside, questioning about the dragon attack in Gusty Gulch. He was pleased to give information to just about anyone.

A knock came on his door. "Come in," he yelled.

Mario walked into the door. He looked a little different, though; his skin was ridiculously pale, and his head was like a balloon. His clothes also seemed to be sagging in some places.

"Are you alright, Mario?" Russ T. asked. "You don't look so well. Are you sick?"

"No, no, I'm fine," he replied in his classic Italian accent. Well, that _had_ to be Mario; it was his voice, alright.

But it wasn't Mario. It was LimBooger, acting as the head, and Boo B. Hatch attempting to be the arms, legs, and body at the same time. LimBooger was very grateful for his natural ability to mimic voices well. He knew he didn't look like the real thing.

"It was, uh...a bet with Luigi," LimBooger improvised. "He said if I could stuff a hundred and fifty pieces of popcorn in my mouth, he'd pay me ten coins. I couldn't, and so I had to paint my face white."

Russ T. shook his head. "Ah, the things you young ones do. I don't think I'll ever understand. So, what can I do for you today?"

"Well, see, I think Bowser's up to something," he said. "I think he may be trying to find some magical item or something to gain extraordinary power and rule the world. You know, same old. But I don't know what item that might be. I was wondering if you could help me."

"Psst! LimBooger! I'm hungry!" came a voice from down below. LimBooger tried his best to pretend like nothing happened.

"Sorry. My belly is talking to me. It does that. Now, about the ancient artifacts...."

Russ T. went on with a surprising length of magical artifacts that had been using to achieve great goals. LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch couldn't use most of them; they weren't powerful enough, or only the pure-of-heart could enter, or even the royal heir of some long-forgotten race could open up a vault. One caught his attention, though.

"There was also the Shadow Key," Russ T. explained. "A great, evil warrior, long ago, had this key forged with the strongest dark magic. It was large and dark-colored and could even be wielded as a sword. He had a sapphire put into it that was practically bursting with evil power. But some heroes came along to try and stop him. They almost lost the fight, but one of them managed to separate the sapphire from the key. With its source of power gone, the dark man was defeated."

"...Wow," LimBooger said, forgetting to use his Italian voice. He cleared his throat and said "Wow" again with his accent. "It sounds dangerous. What could the key do?"

"It could fire rays of destruction," Russ T. went on. "It could release shock waves that could wipe out entire cities. It magically increased the speed and strength of its bearer. How the heroes defeated its master, I don't know. But I do know that if Bowser gets his filthy claws on it, the world could end!"

_The world could end._

_The world could end._

_The world could end._

The words repeated themselves in LimBooger's mind over and over again. World domination. Just like that.

"And where is the key now?" LimBooger asked nonchalantly.

"It's supposed to be so far away in such a dangerous place that nobody who has even heard of the key has dared go to retrieve it. It's on Sunset Island, way in the south. Nobody even knows where it is on there, but the island is supposedly infested by the most dangerous creatures and has the harshest, most dangerous environment anywhere. If you're going there, I would be careful."

LimBooger thanked him and prepared to leave. Then he remembered the sapphire. "Wait," he said. "Where is the sapphire?"

Russ T. chuckled. "Supposedly, Princess Peach's ancestor was one of the heroes, who took the sapphire and laid it in each crown passed down ruler to ruler. You may have to guard her closely if Bowser goes after her."

LimBooger had exactly the opposite intention, but didn't voice it, of course. He thanked him again and walked out.

"Can you believe it?" he said to Boo B. Hatch. "The jewel is right here! We just go to this island, nab the Shadow Key--and hey, we're ghosts, it should be easy--get the jewel, free King Boo, and sit back and watch the fireworks!"

"Shouldn't we free the other Boos?" Boo B. Hatch asked.

"Heck no! Do you know what they'd do, Boo B. Hatch? Do you think they'd all agree with us? They'd free King Boo too early, and then our plans would be ruined! No, let's keep them there for now. And when the time is right, we'll act."


End file.
